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i used to feel things

by miles cooke

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1.
just wait a minute before my welcome’s overstayed i only hope today to introduce you to my sobriquet screaming while my soul decay laughing save face for the entrance and let the remnants linger til the moment aches was gone in an instant i’m sticking with my illness plus all else is leaving fever dreaming while i flash a vile grimace let em cast out the outcast make no mistakes i mentioned in the premise chose this path so at least i was consistent cause you don’t have the answers sway and you don’t know the half i been in burned it when i walked away so i aint have to ask forgiveness need to cease the preaching thinking god’ll bring the wrath for sinners demons stalk the streets unflinching morning they right back to business angel on my left sits to witness the devil on my right says lets get it they both made a killing now deep amongst the fathomed trust believing doesn’t seem convincing it’s just some grief for the living
2.
oprah 02:01 video
the type to point when it’s aimless long face thousand yard stare through the anguish patience wore thin hearing the debates it’s laymen’s terms ‘cause they didn’t speak the language nameless king of lame duck season speaking of leaving they was waving white flags through the training I came to stand adjacent to iconoclastic views and spew up shit til we find a commonplace i’ve been hungry. the shit i’ll do for rent money. don’t even get it misconstrued i did my friends ugly. beloved with two feet up on your love seat. funny cause existence unlucky it must be or must be certainly something the fuck wrong with me kid said he sick of being melanin deficient jumping on your couch like ellen paid a visit nah i meant oprah still had two feet down on your sofa mostly though i’m known to house shit breakfast in bed with mimosas i’m lounging. solitude doesn’t seem so troubling. drink if i gotta keep grief out the utterance. double down on bias plus brief in the subtleties hand over fist break bread for the sustenance s.o.s. perfected cry wolf method wise up for the second that the winter will be ushered in they took my soul and my name told em break a leg you’ll never walk the same the way i’m married to the game…
3.
game face 01:35
if it’s discipline that keeps em hungry show me the money long gone evil coming we be the lost faith believers dip without a word last call throwing drinks up wouldn’t wish this on my nemesis in secret limitations barely be a word that we think of not banking on no self respect neither taking shots for practice game face running longer than the meter i’ll let the liquor take the wheel barely know what’s real stumble through words then hit the street drunk yeah i’m famous with the local alcoholics a barstool calling my name i’ll bring an offering so let me empty out my wallet call to the void i couldn’t ignore it i should’ve forced quit pouring rain mixed with the draft might be a warning cross fade to having a laugh in disproportion dark fate to pick up the tab read it out from the black cause there’s nothing but regrets up in the morning….
4.
pep talk 02:18
my nigga… another prolonged sleeper the season for self-inflicted sickness predictably malicious with the business and you don’t want it either it’s fiction for all you non-believers i bet it’s bound to brilliance say the word i’ll keep it secret humility the lost teacher tall order for the hopeless threw the game i didn’t think they’d notice focus if only for a moment maybe my nigga… i bring the rain to wet the harvest flood watch we’re losing all the efforts by the hundreds dumb odd the disappointment didn’t scratch the surface trump card i paired it with an ace and played it perfect i told some lies to keep it honest from the shadow of a doubt the obvious we playing possum for attendance and adamant about the feeling knew the nihilism aint about the ending. you get it? my nigga.
5.
it’s one more with no origin the time between the sunset and morning glorious the daybreak it feel horrible wrapped up in self importance outclass with braggadocious or it’s self loathing when i deem it’s warranted well liquor to top shelf i’m picking how i feel about myself keep the change cause i’m running off to war again aye aye captain morgan i came to kill em all king james version type word is bond til they stick a fork in or forfeit no doubting misfortune the best efforts going unawarded iffy on the herd immunity not looking forward face down on the floorboards and think it’s normal no longer need the piece of me gone in contiguity with right and wrong button down for the curtain call believed the greatest lie i ever heard. like aint that the truth? trust? absurdist talk. sleep walk the streets brown baggin’ in pursuit of god. pain known to loosen morals… and nothing changes and this pocket full of change is next to nothing. nothing changes… a penny for your thoughts they don’t have to make sense
6.
on the c 02:02
my heartbeat keeps pace with death the wounded get the worst of it passion did the stutter step blessings putting half in the other half left i let the effort do what’s lacking disbelief be running wild through a pile of the dreams that i kept the only thing i had was laughter calling for the umpteenth to a disconnected landline hammered another round of drinks on maslow awaken from the nightmare in style despair a waste of breath life’s sweeter in denial bliss for the sweet summer child peace riding tandem with violence speak using silence heads in the sand multiplying break from the rank and file quietly yankee fitted for the night cap tequila chaser my demise unsurprisingly my lungs taste the air of time i swear everything is fine ‘cause i don’t have a lot and i don’t need a lot plus coffees only five i only had to split a dime to get it
7.
strangers 01:58
i haven’t been myself in years and the corners of the room closing in cracked the amethyst a blank slate curbside cigarette candidate a graveyard shift with the amateurs both arms reached across the precipice save face hold fast subtle with the recipe felt at home with strangers and still think about the ancients a thankless job i rock beautifully repetition sowed to test fidelity dangerous with defensive mechanisms either got em or i go and get em green the color of the privileged break the promise no you don’t need permission a scorched earth nothing left for descendants i heard the malice in your footsteps i tried to leave but i couldn’t was short of breath hand on my chest felt seen good looking my heart pulsating it’s all flaws forward for the wake up all star that didn’t make the roster with endless gratitude in the mantra sideshow bob riding shotgun left most in shambles. you should’ve taught your man how to squabble more than twice their weight in stolen valor. still survived the scandal ayahuasca journey with the shaman. exit row running out the opera the optimism’s novel didn’t know they found a cure for cancer i’m drunk duck hunting with a handgun danger close decisions made it hostile bonus round this episode of hot ones halo jumping never been the hobby
8.
i’m not particularly interesting drowning out the thoughts with indifference talks with my spitting image lost in the muck of pity wake me when they burn the cities i’ll walk through the ashes blissfully minds made up about the ministry of truth seekers peacekeepers never keep the peace truth unbelievably bleak oh the irony… a black cop steady bootlicking then run and stick you up for a bootleg the uncle tom mascot and all the green is on the other side white lies screaming color blind locked in caged bird singing for a locksmith all out of options we get out of pocket for a change the lint to dollars dead prez doctrine i keep a 5 finger discount for false prophets accomplished when we olly olly i’ve never whistled while i worked once i died on the job boss said that sounds perfect sign me up for snow, rain, heat, gloom, in surplus wage slave came to masquerade at your service and still tryna get paid on labor day explain how it’s 40 plus and rent still a pain to pay fuck around and drink the kool aid cause i can’t escape sins of the father some mistakes you just can’t erase i wished i lounged in the canopy can it be soup for my family news at 5 produce insanity
9.
it be the inexhaustible going with insolence watching seconds flow as images not persuaded with the stolen rhetoric need one better than a silver tongue gold standard there’s the medicine only solace in the ending is it’s done representing for the fading light bearer type hold a light beer up chase it with a shot you might clear up squeezing stones for the blood nobody told me i won’t be the one drunk trying to fight mirrors they just said roll with the punch i used to think i felt something i used to think i failed the litmus test all flaws forward for your interest and dumb luck i thought game would be enough brung to table conversations where the funds front for now i’ll stay secluded in reluctance flash a smile for the unaware stumble through the evening under tungstens the ideals that they judging by doesn’t fly cause who needs the presumption always criticize the ones that touch the summit done it. running then running back just to watch the faces look disgusted cause the blueprint gonna need a few adjustments
10.
ugatz 02:25
i bring neuroses to any event monitor the exits closely conversations missing consent donate the proceeds. a penny was spent believe it’s mostly wilted out the windows who i need to convince? some smoke from the lips whistle from the lungs face down on cement i locked eyes with my one and only and let the mirror make sense of laments i didn’t have to pretend another shot will lift my spirits slowly oh so kindly leave me with my dignity time keeps reminding me i’ll never see you again cocoa butter skin whiskey on a whim drink so i forget blindly follow where the limit ends high and mighty must’ve missed it from the first impression idle hands in hindsight the unexpected unrequited love lost. righteous. the numbers from women that i admire priceless it feels like dying for a lost cause fore we raw dog civility must’ve had it all wrong we have to call it all off can’t escape the entropy strictly routine stolen innocence bitter to the end i’m laughing through the encore

about

miles cooke is a brooklyn-based rapper, producer, and something of a storied newcomer. discovered in the comment section of some clickbait article, sharing hangover remedies via personal diatribes and heavy metaphors, cooke is now carving out a space for himself in the NYC rap scene. for miles, it’s all slick nuance, graveled voice, smooth delivery, and nutty loops.

i used to feel things, miles' debut album, is a product of long nights and late mornings, a raw and unfiltered exercise in introspection that’s part self-destruction and part survival in a world that challenges the existence of the self. another foggy morning in a field of wildflowers, a euphoric juxtaposition, i used to feel things has miles cooke serving up cold truths over warm instrumentals.

Twitter/IG: @milescooked

credits

released October 14, 2022

produced and written by miles cooke
mixed and mastered by steel tipped dove
artwork by tom betthauser

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